Best recipes for life

On Wednesday, after I had appointments for mammo and ultrasound booked I drove boys to taekwondo.
I was doing my shopping when I spotted recipe box on sale. Isn't that interesting? How they put those things on sale like people would only cook during summer? Not in spring or winter or fall ;-)
Unfortunately I couldn't buy it. I don't feel as I need anything. And with soon no income and all the prescriptions...
After I had that mammo on Friday, going as usual to Monday class I bought the box.
It may happen they will need some advice in life. Better to have to many than none.
There is the first recipe

Beef, barley and kale soup.

300-400g of beef 
1/2 cup of pearl barley
2-3 carrots sliced
1/2 parsnip sliced
1 celery stalk or celeriac also sliced
2-3 potatoes quartered
bunch of kale

Beef: blade simmering steak is good, but you have to simmer it for few hours. Shank is perfect.
Put meat and rinsed barley in a pot. Add water to cover, season with salt, cover and cook until tender.
Then add all the root veggies, and potatoes. Cook for additional 30 minutes.
Clean kale, and pull the leaves to remove the main vein. Chop the leaves and saute with ghee or oil olive until wilted and add to the soup. Sometimes I add good bouillon cube. No msg, no artificial, etc...
Garnish with parsley, and yogurt. And... voila. 

Beef, barley and kale soup

Only one problem. My husband loves it, my older one needs more, but the little one... :-(

- Mom, do I eat those green things?

- Yes, and it's healthy.

- How does it taste?

I don't know. Probably if you would ask a cow... - It's kale, and it smells like broccoli, when sauteed.

We may stay with broccoli which he loves.

Any ideas for edible kale dishes?

Sleeping again

First long night. Or rather shorter than when you check the clock every few minutes.
The cancer is so big (7cm) they have to shrink it with chemo. Then they will be able to remove it.
And more tests coming. The giblets. Heart, liver, lungs and bones...

The social worker said we have to talk to boys. Easy to say.
The older one heard "cancer". No longer I had to remind him about brushing his teeth.
I bet you have no idea what that means. I still don't know.
She said - You set the example. You teach them how to cope.
I hope I can be good example.
At boys' taekwondo they say "You never fail until you stop trying".
But there has to be the end. I believe it's about distinction between dignity and being miserable.
I should take care of them not the opposite.

Anyway, the family gets closer. Very often even four of us are lying in a queen bed.
Today it was only me and boys. Little one is crazy about it.
Wrestling I said - Be careful. You know this breast is sick (still with big bruse after biopsy). They will amputate it.
- What?
- They will cut it out.
- Oh man!!! That's horrible! But then you will have a replacement?
- Oh yeah. I'm bionicle mummy :-) I'll just ask to mail me the replacement parts.


Looking for cutting out I found something interesting http://www.breasthealthproject.com/reducerisk.html
I don't like chemicals, but as I said before, I'm the junk generation. Hope it'll be better for my children.

Nothing to do with fashion

Today is the day. I will see the surgeon, who will tell me what stage it is, and what are my chances. Can't wait!

But first the MRI experience.
Good it was holiday. There was free parking! The fees are killing patients. Everyone wants to claim them as medical expence on personal taxes return. My friend is saying they are working 24/7.
Anyway, good I was with my husband because the place is hard to find. Main entrance from the back and kilometers of halls.
And then they were: hospital gowns. Is it one size? Mmm... I would have to say I'm lucky. They fit!
Other than that... only one colour and cut. I guess the cut is to be comfortable, but only for the medical staff.
Personally I hate the pattern "hospital property". Do they expect theft? Gown for the third date? Anyone?
They told me: two gowns for the MRI. One with opening in the back, the other one in front.
So I did. First one was clear blue, no any fashionable pattern I fastened at the back. The other, light blue with chequered pattern I put on like you would wear a coat. Looked logical to me, but it wasn't.
So I changed before iv. Why do they propose to change after they stab your arm and attach something anyway?
But the best was still to come. The MRI "bed". I could hear my younger one shouting - What the! -
I'm always waiting for more, terrified, but that's enough to express his surprise.
You'll spend half an hour not moving, listening to the music of your choice.
Chorus of angels please :-)

Cancer Screening Program - Public Information - MOHLTC

Cancer Screening Program - Public Information - MOHLTC

Feel free to use 'time to screen tool' ;-)
I guess I didn't take proper care of myself.
But now someone is doing it for me. The physician called to check on me. And my doctor is on vacation... not bad start. I hope ;-)

Chances are

Waiting is killing. And not knowing.
What if?
What if surviving rate is 20% for next 10 years? Oh yeah, I love math.
Would that be 2 years for sure? First one lost as the worse year because of the treatment?
Tomorrow I will know.

In the morning the little one will go to play at his friend house. His best friend ever I should say. Coincidently born on the same day! Still hard to believe.
I was very happy his mom called and invited us.
- Will you please give me your address?
- Sure. You have something to write?
- I'm all ready.
Then she told the name, spelled and said - You know, it's ... like this animal.
I thought (usually I think fast and a lot, and I guess that's killing me to): of course I don't know unless it is the main character in children song. Not with my poor-poor English, but your spelling was good enough, and just in case I could check 411
- Of course I know - I said - I will be really happy to meet you.

PS
It's interesting for me how they say 411 in English. 4-11 not 411.
I can say not bad, as I did French numbers.

Poetry and other thoughts

I can see my writing is not any poetry or something. Not even close! :lol:
And it still can be worse! As spelling check is not working. What a day... Yesterday it just stopped working.
When I'm in not good mood, and obviously it happens a lot lattely, I go to google translator.
I'm Polish. That's why the English is so poor. But the polish translation is ridiculously... ridiculous! Senseless.

Let's think about the causes of breast cancer then.
It's NOT smoking or drinking. Too bad it's too late for me.
I suppose main reason is being woman. This is after I talked to the physician. She went through this, and she is saying it's random.
Looks like good explanation to me. But is not helping at all with early detection.
You may have the gen. Or you may have your children late and high level of estrogens, that would probobly be me. But it's not indicator.
I would say: do the breast exam, and from time to time get crazy. Don't be shy. Ask for mammogram! It's a myth: Mammo doesn't hurt. I only asked, if the kind of pulling feeling is normal, as I wasn't sure I should bend my knees maybe :-)
Yes, they are saying radiation will cause the cancer too. But it's 6 in 1,000,000 million! patients, and it can garantee you early detection.

And I hope it's not too late for me... What choice do I have?
I feel, we are junk generation. With all excitement for new chemicals, cosmetics. Anyone ever asked about the lead in any paint? Not in 60s or 70s I guess. Childhood in junk.

Results

Since Friday I know the results of the biopsy.
But I'd like to start from the beginning.

The more I read about the cancer (brr... hate this word!) I realized every mother should educate her daughter. Maybe my experience could help someone. And there is how it started.

Having the requisitions and then appointments booked I was doing well until I did the research and discovered I'm going to one of the best centers in the world. Then I started to shake and couldn't swallow, because of huge ball in my throut. No wonder anxiety pills are so tiny ;-)
Just two months before my 44 birthday I had my first mammogram and ultrasound and it didn't look good. In fact it looked so bad, that the radiologist made bad but loud comment. One black sheep between all the angels I guess ;-)
Everyone is perfectly trained, polite, kind and funny. And of course it's not helping to escape panic and fear.
Even long list of terms and conditions of rapid assessment, diagnosis and support program(RADS) is not long enough to distract.

Three days later: biopsy. Isn't not wearing even the deodorant annoying?
I was still joking until the freezing didn't really work while taking 3rd sample and there were 3 more to go!
The doctor said he had patients who couldn't let the biopsy. You can not do that. You have to check. You have to try. You have to make informed decision.
If there still something you can decide about.

Last Friday I had to go to see physician with my unbelievably fantastic husband.
And again: they are perfectly train. The introduction... There were few moments I felt I was off the hook.
The results are: invasive ductal carcinoma.