Friday, 30 September 2011

Set your goals...

I mean really the lowest of the low.
Then you'll still have a chance for achievements! ;-)
Only two weeks left to the next chemo, and I'm crap.
Interesting how I change my mind depending on my well-being.
Why do they call this well-being anyway?
When I feel better I wanna to quit! Not to go through this again.

Today I decided I want to see 50/50. Think Monday around noon should be the best attendance for me. Too bad they don't open at 8 a.m. on Mondays.
Then I thought I'd rather own the dvd. But it'll take time that's why I should go to the movies.
Here it is: decision made. I'm going to the movies to see 50/50! Hurray!

And I didn't go.
Not because finally I was afraid I won't be able to... behave. Yes, I could very easily make a fool of myself.
That reminds me.

In Polish we have different idiom for that situation. We say 'make a circus'. Because it can be entertaining.
Few years back I had a conversation with my older one, who was then the little one and I was pregnant with the factual little one.
I was getting ready to drop the older little one to daycare and crazy fast drive to work. He was standing in a bathroom watching me putting on make up, and I was looking even better than I was feeling that day.
- Hi honey. Do you like mom's look?
- ekhm... You look like a clown.
My jaw dropped.
- Is that good or bad?
- Of course it's good. Now you can go to work in a circus!

Well, no any circus guarantied today.
I just simply had no energy for anything.
One hour until bed time left, that's my tonight dream.
But I'll see it!

today's achievements:
pizza for dinner, sure that was take out
but I was able to organize last week mail, and little one was ready for his picture day

First month gone. Two chemotherapy treatments. One day of school missed. And my husband is still alive after crazy, crazy week.
Next month we have more support.

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