Sleeping again

First long night. Or rather shorter than when you check the clock every few minutes.
The cancer is so big (7cm) they have to shrink it with chemo. Then they will be able to remove it.
And more tests coming. The giblets. Heart, liver, lungs and bones...

The social worker said we have to talk to boys. Easy to say.
The older one heard "cancer". No longer I had to remind him about brushing his teeth.
I bet you have no idea what that means. I still don't know.
She said - You set the example. You teach them how to cope.
I hope I can be good example.
At boys' taekwondo they say "You never fail until you stop trying".
But there has to be the end. I believe it's about distinction between dignity and being miserable.
I should take care of them not the opposite.

Anyway, the family gets closer. Very often even four of us are lying in a queen bed.
Today it was only me and boys. Little one is crazy about it.
Wrestling I said - Be careful. You know this breast is sick (still with big bruse after biopsy). They will amputate it.
- What?
- They will cut it out.
- Oh man!!! That's horrible! But then you will have a replacement?
- Oh yeah. I'm bionicle mummy :-) I'll just ask to mail me the replacement parts.


Looking for cutting out I found something interesting http://www.breasthealthproject.com/reducerisk.html
I don't like chemicals, but as I said before, I'm the junk generation. Hope it'll be better for my children.